Trauma-Induced Psychiatric Symptoms

Most of the time, I am doing better than I was with the effects of the trauma. I don't yell at anyone over the phone, and I don't have flashes of anger during the day, and there are no anxiety attacks.

The visible signs of wear can be seen if you bother to look.

I never leave the house unless I have a very specific reason for doing so. I still contemplate suicide. I lost almost all of my social contacts. I only dress a few days out of the week; usually, I'm in my pj's.

I analyze my own thoughts to death looking for signs of progressive mental illness. d. The last thing I want is psychotic symptoms disrupting my own case. d. Is that normal? NO. Y/ES? It is. But the hackers want me to go down. Sooner rather than later. I search for a low stress environment which means I hide. NO one supports me, so I hide further inside. I'm the Army of ONe.

I think of all the people who look for help from law enforcement, and they never get that help. I think of all the people who want help from the courts, and they are frustrated by the system. d. I think of what will happen to me if I never get anything going. I will die here in this room. I refuse to live in it. d.

That is the point that no one understands. IT is the point that I tried to express to people before August 20, 2008, and no one understood. IT is a point that you cannot ever get across.

What bothers me about this is the ADA that comes up from behind. "NO real crime occurred. This is your mental illness." d. YOU are delusional.

And how stress-related symptoms can make you really ill. d. But are wholly separate from the crimes being committed. And should be treated separate. YOu treat the patient. YOu fight the crime. d.

I'm mentally ill. I never leave my house. That's not normal.

That does not me I"m psychotic. And even if I was psychotic--let's pretend for a second I am--

Someone could still be hacking my computer. d.

Sometimes I manage it too well. IF I threw a bigger, more melodramatic fight, maybe others would see the internal damage of the crime display externally.

IN some kind of caring world, that would happen. But here in this world, that is not true.e d

I try to keep the fit-throwing to a minimum.