Struggling through all of this has taught me humility about myself, about what I think I know about my brain, about my personality, about what I am capable of, good and bad. No. 3. I fear the "white shining light" of broken consciousness, not even of death so much. Death is final. I fear hell. And there is a hell.
We all love our lives, even the crappy ones, but there is a worse place. I felt I was dancing around on the edge of it. Taunting it myself, foolishly. No. 3. x. I fear that it will come again for me. No. And you can never prepare. No. i.
We love our memories, and our family and our friends and our existence. AT least, I learned that, all over again. I don't want to die, I want to live.
but this earth has some wicked traps set in place.
In here, the brain, there is a hell waiting. xxx.
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