HOwling about the injustices of my situation and in the government have gotten me nowhere, and after pushing away every person in my life and after eight months, I'm ready to give up.
[I need d]
I see nothing worth fighting for.
Take the Fourth Amendment, you can in some instances take the First.
The avalanche of reading I would have to do, what would basically amount to becoming a civil rights lawyer, finding a computer expert, conducting my own criminal investigation--is ridiculous. IF I could do all of that, I would be a member of intelligence myself. All of which would be easier--I know--I hate money--but would be easier if I had cash for traveling and expenses.
Because I see something is wrong that everyone condones by allowing to continue.
IF I ignore it, I condone it, I accept it.
LIfe is a wad of "not fair's." I equate this to white collar gang violence, but it wasn't violent to anythying more than my computer, and a little to my car. The psychological war is real and cruel. People don't see it. They don't like what they can't touch or feel, so they don't notice, don't want to deal with it, don't care.
I am unfortunately a forgiving person, and I am looping around forever justifications for people's inability to empathize in times of war. NOt in Afghanistan, not in Iraq, but domestic. HEre. WE're at war here. IF you can't see that, you are not paying attention.
I'm ready to give up on my own country. All states. The US government that I am fighting for. IN this way, I feel like I"m in the fucking military. d.
Life is a big pile of "fuck you's"--you get them from everywhere. Accident's, intentional's. Some people get more than others. ad.
I only pity those who do not pity others.
That's my fuck you.
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