One of the "Grandma's" said, "YOu don't know what they'll do to you...I worked for the government..." This awas after the FBI dog-n-pony show. More vague threats. d It sounded like NOra. Honestly.
I'm walking up and down Wilshire. Tired. I've been up since 3am. "Grandma" is on the phone. "You have to use your brain. Think." Sounded like something one of the "RAndy's" said. d. I have nightmares about this bullshit. I stand on the side of the sidewalk, resting up next to a building with my laptop, the magical machine, and watch people pass until a woman comes by. I ask her where the FBI is. She tells me in the FEderal Building. I drove past it all day. For hours. LIke a fucking dumbass.
I should be in a hospital. Now. I'd go but it would be more ammo. For them. For my parents. "Lacey is ill." Bullshit. I"m exhausted. d. It took me two hours to figure out how to open the gas cap on the 300Touring because it's not my car. I'm fried. I put all my energy into fighting. Everyone is either condescending, belittling, (same), annoyed, apathetic or angry. I don't do much to help this because eventually I just fucking lose it. ONe of them is really calm. He just listens whenever I lose it. I don't know who he is. Ou can tell when he's on. The other night when I called "GRandma" a fucking stubborn bitch. d because of her stupid frog leg comment, more threats. It wears me out. d. He just listens. And takes it. I suspect it's one of two people. OR both of them.
IN my dreams, one of them knows a fight is coming, and he just says, I'll take this. Go ahead, Lacey. Sihgs. dd
BEcause there's still a few good ones left.
But you're always angry at the wrong person with this method. And always the wrong person gets it. d
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