ONI

Under normal circumstances, a psychiatrist would be worried. The Case Manager isn't that worried, no one is really worried. I'm probably less worried because they're not worried, but still I'm

worried.

I can't tell if this is apathy, or just because the threat is nonexistent. Like your fear is causing physiological changes, which we can control with drugs, but the bear isn't running up behind you.

There are so many bears in life and there are so many patients that a psychiatrist should be worried.

No matter what. Expressing this worry only makes me sound more nuts. I tried, trust me, this tactic first. Many times. To my family first. They didn't care. It was either out of ignorance on their part or out of knowledge of something I didn't have. I guess at the latter. LIke the bear is a trained, tamed, circus bear. He's harmless. He gives hugs, not claw marks.

But a bear is a fucking bear, I said. No, everyone said back.

All the while from a VErizon Wireless bill, I got from the missing letters ONI, who is Admiral Jack.

And then, you wonder what happened to you.