"In fact, it is not necessarily true that everything can be conquered with willpower. There are forces of nature and circumstance that are beyond our control, let alone our understanding, and to insist on victory in the face of this, to accept nothing less, is just asking for soul-pummeling. The simple truth is, not very fight can be won."

--pg. 32 The Center CAnnot Hold by Elyn R. Saks

I realized this at the hospital, and decided simply I had met my match, and that I was going to die no matter what I did. One of the bravest things I've ever done in my life is taken a shower in that room. NO one will ever believe that though. NO. OR at least, they cannot understand it unless they have gone through the psychological torment about one little chamber in a building. d.