We were at the end of my session with my psychiatrist when he handed me a slip for getting my lithium levels checked.
I noticed the DSM code at the bottom of the piece of paper. "What diagnosis is that?"
"Bipolar," he responded.
"Do you think I'm bipolar?" I asked.
"No. I think what we're dealing with here is schizoaffective disorder, and someday I'll get around to changing it there."
My heart sank. I never identified myself with that diagnosis. I was hoping in the long run he would disagree even though STanford was certain that I was in fact schizoaffective.
For what it's worth, I think the schizoaffective diagnosis is wrong too. But you also no longer sound bipolar to me. I think you've joined me in clinical depression.
ReplyDeleteIt's interesting, but on the depression scale (they make me take the Beck scale every time I go into see my psychiatrist), I'm only showing up as mildly depressed, but I'm still hearing a lot of voices.
ReplyDeleteWell, would you consider yourself depressed? 'Cause from what I remember of my reading about schizoaffective disorder, you really don't exhibit any other symptoms of it beyond the voices, at least as far as I know.
ReplyDeleteYes, I'm still depressed. I'm having problems with fatigue, along with other symptoms--but it's not near as bad as it use to be. Remember, diagnosing takes into account history as well. I had a psychotic episode that was not in a mood episode--hence schizoaffective disorder. I had paranoia, delusions, etc. Now, since I'm on the medications, I'm doing a lot better. I have had manic episodes in the past, which is why I'm not a straight schizophrenic.
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