"I know you think I'm crazy," I said to my grandmother at the beginning of the conversation, which was a bad direction to go during the phone call. She's purposefully called me "nuts" before with the intention to hurt. NOt a playful "nuts," not in jest, but a mean "nuts."

But what do you say when the voices are so harassing you have to stop one "outside" conversation with her over the phone, and talk to the roaring internal dialogue with "him"? Who has taken up residence in your brain?

I am on a sliding scale, every day counts, I want to say. YOu can be there for me, or not. You are lying, aren't you? Grandma. d. Paranoia or not? You think I am nuts.

Maybe yesterday was bad, maybe tomorrow will be better. Maybe I will just improve over time. Maybe in the future, we will forget this bad spot. Lacey A will return from where ever she went. This will be some soft dream. WE won't even mention it.

But don't compare me to someone who is essentially living on the streets. a. I am scared for myself. 0. d.