"I recently started a Netflix account. Aside from owning a cat or having an account at a child pornography website, nothing quite says 'destined to die alone on the toilet' than renting movies by mail. Not only are you engaging in an activity that you can do sitting alone in your room, you’re also doing it by mail, taking away all interpersonal contact. But, my dick and hand needed some time-off from each other, so this is where we are. Accept it."

--Crossing the Line