I don't know how I'm supposed to get better when I don't even remember what it was like to be normal.

The catch is they'll stop the ECT treatments when I'm not depressed.

What will that feel like?

How many rounds with ol' Sparky will it take for me to recognize myself in the mirror, and say, "Today is a good day"?

How will I even know how to describe the normal mood to the doctors with the notebooks? I've forgotten. My whole life is about being depressed, down, morose--I'm consumed by it, and left with nothing.