What Friends ARe For

ONe of my therapists tried this trick--if I wanted my only son to grow up to be MOrpheus.

Would I be proud of him?

Yes. He's very smart and high functioning. I would rather the kid turn out like him than to experience auditory hallucinations, a psychotic episode, severe depression, etc and be like me. How's that?

I can see the therapist now, her down in her notepad, writing softly, and then saying, "Do you really want a man who calls you up in the middle of the night, drunk?"

LIst faults, A, B, and C. Check mark. AT least he called.

It's frightening to face choices--girlfriend versus a marriage. Or perhaps he was thinking about our fight, and my psychotic behavior is what he found to be scary.

The therapist would not be interested in any of this. MOrpheus is the bad guy. Rationalizing any of his behavior just annoys Ph.D.'s and Master's alike.

I hear that a lot, "Do you really want...?"

I've been with a lot of men, more than the average woman my age, and I've never found one better. This is a statement that therapist will refute yet they can't rob me of my experiences. They can't claim the hours I've survived and lived. They can only argue about their standards and vision of life. About what looks good to them from their point of view.

"Do you really want some guy calling you at almost one am because he's lonely and wants sex?" A therapist will ask.

There's an shared intimacy at one am, and it's not just about sex. The problem isn't one am (who really cares about the time); the problem is the gift of friendship (I bail you out, you bail me out) isn't shared. IN other words, I can't call him at one am and cry on his shoulder. I have friends in which I can do that.

Therapists misread sex. Sex was my business, I know how it rolls around in the male mind and in the female mind. You have sex in these circumstances, it's like putting a pacifier in someone's mouth. IT works, but not for long, and we all have to grow up. IN the long run, it's not solving any problems.

Sometimes sex does help if it goes along with healthy verbal communication.

Good friends take each other phone calls at one am. WE listen to each other whenever we're drunk, sober, psychotic or delusional. It's a dirty job, but someone has to do it.