Madness Until Death

Remember when I told you that you were the greatest guy in the world?

There was no other guy then, just like now.

I don't know how I'll replace you, what I'll do without you. Sure, the mechanics are easy (it's called a Magic Wand). The loneliness is bearable.

But the idea--of something better--the magic of life filled with passion.

I live a life without motivation. I want for nothing, and therefore have no direction. At least psychosis, in its madness, is a compass, if only pointed to the wrong star. Every day passes the same.

I wanted you. Could you blame me?

I barely remember your face, your smell, it is as if every day, you are dying, slowly, bit by bit in my diseased brain--what day will you finally disappear forever from me? Slip through my firing fingers?

Could I make love to you one more time and remember you until death? Would God grant me that? OR would I dive deep into madness like so many times before as punishment for loving you?

"I thought I was meant to be with you..."

(ON Cheating, an email sent to Morpheus)