"If you look at bulimia as a secret lover, to me she's an old friend who I mostly avoid but think about often. She's the friend who always walked on the edge, got you in trouble, encouraged you to do shit you knew would get you grounded or arrested, but you followed anyway because when you did, you could forget everything. With this troublemaker you live in the moment. You can admit to feeling weak and scared, but you do something about it that counters the weakness and fear. With this friend, you look into the void, you fill it with everything you can find and then you push the button that makes it all go away. Bulimia is the bad girl friend that makes you feel like you have a say, you have a secret. You have some power. You feel cleaned out and light again. And then you can tell yourself you're better than her when things are safe, easy. You look down on her until you're down low again. And there she is, waiting for you. Flask, joint, fresh pack of smokes. Some pills, a sexy stranger and an open bar. Dangerous, reliable. Always there when you need her. That's me and my ED. "
--Rosa on ED
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