There's no word for it. DEvastated? Broken hearted? Torn up?

HOw about I had a psychotic break over it? I went to pieces. d. Over a man and a hacking.

I did not go gracefully. I went out with bang and white noise and clutter and chatter and a pulling scream. And the person I hurt most was me. 0.

I drank until I reach hell. d. I danced around the edges of fire, convinced that my youth and lack of experience would win me back to earth, to safety.

It didn't . I paid. I"m still paying. NO. d. EVery day. d. 4x.