"I wearily checked back into the Warneford for my second hospitalization, officially one of those patients who had 'come back.' The admission note summed things up pretty well: 'Thin, tall, chain-smoking, sad, inappropriate laughter at times, seems physically and mentally retarded.'

I hated myself."

--The Center CAnnot HOld, pg. 77

I hope to look back on these days, and say that I just got through that, and close my eyes tight against the memory.

I wrote it out, though, I will say to myself with eyes shut.