After six months, I want to start over, but I have gone backwards for so long, even stopping, I'm just spinning in the tinniest of circles in my skull.

One of my bigger assumptions was that this in your hand: communication gone to hell. All of it. Any of it. To anyone. The struggle was to send a messaage. From you to someone you love.

Most of it, I understand even if I don't have the words to label. A program running beneath Word--a ghost program. Other things are prompted. Massive confusion. If you are a sad person, you can conclude this is only a failure of the human race to communicate with each other. In relationships. In life. WE pay for this. Dearly.

Sometimes with--

Our life.

Are we connected if we watch?

No. WE're not. Even if we're helplessly in the mud with him/her while death visits.

Death is being unable to go forward.