In some way, I dared it on. Not in the way that I later plotted with the provoking people over the phone (different issue).
What I'm referring to is in the beginning of January with the alcohol. AT that point, I didn't have much concern for myself. Mixing it with opiates and muscle relaxers because my back hurt, was it bad timing? Yes. But I could have still avoided the booze.
There could have been a pause button. I don't know where it was or how to find it, even now. Maybe if I avoided returning to work. There. No . Here. I don't completely blame myself, as much as I grew up with an "overdeveloped sense of responsibility." I knowingly took risks, some I took because I felt forced out of necessity. In the end, almost a year later, I'm back at "Go."
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